Friday, February 11, 2011
today's gz prac wasnt productive imo!
cos the tailor came, so we all stayed in the gz and played together while she took our measurements for the costume one by one at the back of the room. we didnt have the time to prac section by section, correct our mistakes, and perfect the song.
and to add on, tsb told phan lao shi that we are weak, and our skills are not there yet. also, when comparing us to plmgs, who played the songs that we are playing for this yr's syf in last yr's syf,its totally like heaven and earth. we are not even half as good as them.this made me worried. what i ,and i believe, we, wish for is a gold with honours, but it seems so far away now. i dun want it to be only a wish, i want it to be a reality. i feel that we are working hard, we stayed back more than we are suppose to, but somehow, we are not pushing hard enough, it was more like play than work. i feel that the members dun take it seriously, esp the juniors. thats my opinion though. i dunnoe if thats the truth.
but maybe our fundamentals werent strong enough to start off with, thats why we couldnt get the whole picture right. and tbh, the seniors are not as good as the previous batch's. we dont have many skilled players in our batch, so naturally, the whole ensemble is not strong. haish. but we are working hard, i can tell.
i really really really want that gold with honours. my eyes are set on it rght from the start. i know a gold is alr hard to get, and getting gold with honours is totally out of the question. but i still want it. i will not settle down with just a gold. maybe, its the pressure from the last syf, since its our first gwh, and we are expected to maintain it. but i guess its also part of my own perfectionist mindset. if we really didnt get the gold, im afraid that ppl might think that i didnt lead well. maybe im really not leading well, but i know im trying my best, or im trying what i thought is my best.
but still, i dunnoe how to lead. im afraid that when i reprimand them, it will sound like a nag. or they may feel the same way when a teacher/principal lectures them. i got that kind of feeling before. like:"aiya, shes saying the same old thing again, heck la! who cares? -.-" and i noe that i wont have any respect for that person. so i try not to reprimand. but if i be nice and polite all the time, they will think that they can ride all over me, and i wont have any reaction. then everything will be in chaos.
so how do i lead?
time is short, we only have 2 and a half months left to prove ourselves and to push ourselves towards our common goal. how to tell them that theres no more time to play? :/
it may not be as easy as it seems, but if we try hard enough and believe, we will achieve.